After 24 hours

It’s been 24 hours. Here’s what I’ve learned so far:

• Getting socks on is a bit tough. Even so, I realize that I do have more flexibility than true expectant women get.
  
  
  
• I don’t need new pants, as the belly sits right over mine. But wearing button-flys is a major mistake. I do think I'm going to have to buy some XXXL shirts.
  
  
  
• Right in the middle of a conversation with a colleague, I had to sit down because I had been standing too long. I felt a little embarrassed.
  
  
• Sleep. This is the biggie so far. Sleeping on my stomach or back, my preferred positions, are not options – nor good for the baby. :-) Last night's sleep was more like six one hour naps. I woke each hour because I needed to roll over to my other side. To be clear, I am not complaining, just sharing. Tonight my wife will be coaching me on the effective use of pillows! Bless her.
  
  

Day 1

pre-pregnancy		180 lbs

I put the pregnancy suit on for the first time this morning. Or, I should say, my wife, Michele, had to help me put it on. Wow this thing is heavy. I look like one of those guys in the weight loss commercials, but in reverse. And for the record? Black is slimming.

	213 lbs, no amount of food & beer can do that overnight.

Of course, my 4-year-old daughter, Erin, noticed something strange immediately.

"What is that?" she exclaimed. “It’s to help me feel what it’s like to be pregnant,” I answered. She was amused and asked with a smile: “Why are you doing this?” I hoped everyone I encountered would think this way. “Well,” I explained, “I’m curious to see if I can learn what it’s like to have a baby in your belly.” To which she delightedly concluded, “Oh, like Curious George!”

“Yes,” I chuckled. Like Curious George. And chuckled. And chuckled.

i hope she is too young to remember this

I’m writing this now at my desk. The suit is on. And there’s a lot of pressure on my bladder. I have to go the bathroom.

Day Before

Tomorrow I will begin wearing a pregnancy suit. Nervous? You betcha. I’m entering unknown territory for a man. What will I encounter? Will I emerge more insightful? Empathetic? Or is this a futile idea — and no matter how much I try to see and understand the female side, I’ll never really be able to grasp it? My feeling is a little of both. But I am very encouraged by the support that many women have given me when learning of my quest. If you were one, I thank you very much.

So, who is this guy willing to go to such lengths for a bit of insight? I am Kevin Burke, husband to Michele and father of two kids, Erin, 4 and Conor, 1. I am also founder of Lucid Marketing, a marketing and media services company that helps companies better connect with what moms need and are looking for. Light Iris is my latest endeavor and I am eager to tell moms everywhere about it — and will in the very near future. In the mean time, if you’re still wondering who I am, you can visit my bio page to learn more about me prior to this experience.

Introduction

Like many men, I’ve spent a good part of my life trying to better understand women. However, unlike most men, I turned that pursuit into a career. I launched Lucid Marketing in 1998 to help companies who create products and services for women, kids, and moms to more deeply connect with their intended customers. The vision was, and continues to be, that companies could do a better job of selling products if they put more effort into building customer relationships and adding value.

Since then, Lucid has had the honor of working with some of the finest brands on the planet: Disney, AOL, Procter & Gamble, Quicken, eHarmony, and others. We’ve also had the pleasure of talking with a lot of moms about their challenges, joys, and dreams. Along the way, I also became a parent. So, in addition to discovering what my wife is all about throughout our years together, I now have a window into motherhood.

Of course, there’s only so far my insight can take me. After all, I’m a man. A dad. I will never know what it is to be pregnant, give birth, or experience motherhood. Fatherhood yes, motherhood no. Nature prohibits it. I've always treated this as a factor that hopefully gives me more objectivity. But ultimately, it is a handicap. It doesn't mean I can't be effective in my profession, just that I might need to take a different approach and work harder. I'm up for it.

Then it occurred to me, instead of treating my maleness as a handicap, maybe it's an opportunity. And that’s when the idea struck.

The best way for anyone to understand someone else's perspective is to walk in her shoes. So, for me to better understand moms and moms-to-be; walk in their shoes and experience at least a little of what they do; to foster a stronger appreciation of what they face, is to simulate, to the best of my ability, pregnancy. And by that I mean wearing a pregnancy suit — which is exactly what I am going to do beginning on April 13th and continuing until Mother’s Day, May 13th.

Now, I know this is a pale comparison to what real moms must go through. But possibly it will give me a better understanding and stronger appreciation for their challenges. You’ll be able to read about my experiences and thoughts during this project right here in this blog.

My pregnancy project also gave me another idea: to use this valuable insight and my expertise to help new moms. And so a new endeavor was born called Light Iris. More about that in the weeks to come.

One more thing. I am approaching this pregnancy project humbly and passionately. It isn’t a publicity stunt or a way to trivialize motherhood. And for this reason, I’ve decided that despite my original idea of wearing the suit 24/7, I will instead wear it all the time when not in public. The reason for this is based on interviews with moms.

Originally, I was 100 percent committed to wearing the suit round-the-clock. But in an effort to prepare and get an outside perspective, I began talking with moms about the idea. Seventy of them to be precise. They initially were intrigued and amused, responding to the idea with such comments as, “That's funny, he will have a lot of interesting experiences” or “That's encouraging, a guy trying to learn more. You go boy!” But when asked for specific suggestions or concerns, I got a different story. Like when others who did not know why I was doing this saw me, they might think I was doing it just get attention or make a spectacle out of myself.

I knew I was already going to be in for some explaining when I came across women and moms, but felt certain they would appreciate what I was doing after hearing my story. What I hadn’t thought of was the rest of the public and how they might think I was making a joke out of pregnancy. This made me stop and reconsider. My intentions have always been pure and I want to keep things that way. Instead of a stunt, I want discovery. Instead of creating a spectacle, I strive for conversation.

Wearing the pregnancy suit in private (and keeping it public with this blog) now feels more appropriate to me. And in the end, it will likely achieve the same result.

So stay tuned as I begin to relay my experiences to you on these pages. A special thanks to the moms who put me on the right track and are helping to shape Light Iris.